they say when life becomes routine, you have descended upon the abyss of monotony. But sometimes, isn't it a blessing in some sense that you have one to follow? Compared to the refugees in various war-torn countries who lead lives not knowing what's in store for them tomorrow; where survival is on a day-by-day basis and where they cannot figure out a future for themselves. Routine is in some sense an indication of normality and order.
And routine need not be boring, as one would readily suggest. Because while your life can be routine, you can easily derive simple pleasure from it. I derive satisfaction from the end of a day's classes, from preparing my dinner, cooking it and finally savoring it while catching up on shows on crunchyroll.com or youtube.com, and then topping off with my kahlua Cornell ice-cream or a glass of lemonade. Who says life has to be party, party and party ALL THE TIME?
Chem today was awesome; prof almy sprayed acetone over the entire classroom and lit up the lecture theatre with flame! It was amazing, a pity I didn't bring my camera along. I certainly need to bring it for the next lecture!
Dinner was awesome, the only superlative I could accord to it: shiok! The jap curry had the right amount of consistency to it, none of the watery curry on my first attempt, and goes really well with hot pipping rice. that said, it would have been more fun had you been savoring it with company; a pity I had asked Jo Jo AFTER I had cooked it. Looking forward to cookin for my housemates soon, just so that I wont be needin to do the washing! lol.
And of course, finals beckon, so I don't think I will be doing more cooking over the course of this week, although strangely I went grocery shopping today AGAIN.
I hope I always have time for myself, like how I have had plenty for myself now w/o feelin a sense of loneliness.
Signing off,
Henry
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11:02 PM
***
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Ok, so after a hectic week of yet another round of prelims, I am finally able to catch my breath and chill out a little. But alas! too much time spent procrastinating, as well as a trip to Carousel mall over the weekend, and yet again, the pile of work at my table has not diminished significantly at all >.<
Anyway, i just thought i ought to make myself any wish list, just in case there were any sugar mummy or santa claus who feels I deserve a present or something. Esp my housemates, JQ and Yuan Rui, after today's back-breaking job lugging all YOUR stuff back home. U guys reading this? lol So here it goes, in order of achievability (which coincidentally, relates to price!):
1) Adidas Nastase sneakers: I saw it at Carousel, and I thought it looks comfortable to the eye, nothing fanciful, simple yet classy and beautiful . And it is comfortable to the feet too, which is, of course, the most important, isn't it? It's an elegant footwear!
2) Abercrombie and Fitch Navy Sentinel Jacket:
It looked really nice on me, and goes well especially with my increasing collection of white tops! Unfortunately, since it's a new collection for 2007, the price is still pricey, and most of those available are olive green in color. I want this and only this in navy blue! It gives a rugged feel to you, but again, is simple yet classy. Another one that will certainly go well with me!
3) Versace Sunglass:
I think the person who ought to buy me this is none other than Miss Tan! LOL, why? Because Miss Tan was with me when I saw it @ Nyc, but the both of us, in front of the salesman, who couldn't stop praising Miss Tan's sassy look, concealed our liking for our sunglasses, right up till we walked out of the shop! But alas! they were too expensive, and there were no promotion like buy one get one free, like the lobangs we subsequently got from a street stall @ 51st Strt. Lol, Miss Tan, or any interested sugar mummies! lol.
4) Golf Clubs:
Well, I thought it was time to learn some golf, just so because I might need to play it in the future. Had made plans to take golfing lessons with Cindy, but alas! I am afraid our workloads can't allow us to squeeze time for some golfing goofing around! Nvr mind, there is always next time!
5) Armani Suit:
I thought I need a suit just in case there are formals to attend or any important functions that may require it, although I doubt I will have the time to attend formals and what-have-you. Still, a dashing suit is always welcome!
6) BMW Alphine White X5
Although I am confortably zipping around Ithaca in my babt blue Camry, which in my opinion, is ultra-cool (altho Amanda said it was a girl's color. I DISAGREE with you, Amanda! ) But this has got to be the ultimate dream car for me, classy, elegant (BMW's always my fav brand, and white is my fav color too!), with its SUV qualities making it a practical and comfortable car to zip around with! It's gonna cost a bomb, and it's gonna talke years for me (especially since I will NEVER BREAK BOND, just so because I think every scholar must have a sense of responsibility towards the faith of those who saw gave us our due recognition), but that doesn't mean I am gonna stop dreaming, because the day you have ACHIEVED EVERYTHING in life, you are as good as dead. We should never stop dreaming...
7) My mystery Girl
I have no idea who she might be, and I am willing to wait for as long till she appears. And when it appears, I woudl feel my life has clicked into place. :)
Let's see if I can GET any of them at the end of the year! lol
Signing off,
Henry
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9:41 PM
***
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
summer's been really busy for me in many ways, however how chill I have mentioned before, especially about leading my own life and having time and space for just myself and no one else; and it's mainly due to the workload.
this is for anyone ever considering doing summer school; the only incentive for doing summer school is you earn your credits in half the time, and you get to do it while taking in the beautiful landscape at Ithaca, accentuated by the blazing sun, a welcome change fr icy Ithaca that Cornell has been famous for.
HOWEVER, all that is gonna change if you decide to do a HENRY and take 3 classes dsuring summer. Otherwise, 2 classes are really manageable; and you can really find more than sufficient to explore Ithaca.
so there we go, I just had my 6th and 7th prelim in a space of 3 weeks, and you know what? 6 of the 7 had been 2 per day per week. sounds crazy? picture that, together with a cs project per week, and 2 chem pre-labs + lab reports due per week, not to mention assignments. Was msning Amanda, and it really struck me that it was almost miraculous I had survived thus far.
Yet even more surprising, I havent really bore the brunt of this insane workload at all; well apart from the 2 hrs before my first cs project was due, an hr before my first chem prelim, the night before my first cs prelim. Otherwise, I have really found time to take uber-long dinners, whip up sumptous (well, in my own opinion at least) meals for myself and for friends, do alot of shopping, online and off (haha lol!), watch many movies, especially the older ones, made a whole new bunch of friends (esp in chem 207), go on night and late evening hr-long jogs, gym and rowing sessions etc etc etc. Oh, and alot of driving.
In fact, I have neever felt calmer than before, at least over the past year, and I think it was probably what my dad was talking about the other day about blocking out the distractions. It's easy to be distracted; every single movement that triggers bad memories, however small that action might be, could affect your emotional well-being for up to an entire week and beyond.
And thus far, I hope I have been doing things right, however differing opinion others might have. How have I been doing things "right", in my opinion?
I have been trying to avoid at all costs to look back, however tempted I had been at times; Keith had told me, each time you choose to remember the bad memories, which as human we are all tempted to, immediately, almost instantaneously, distract yourself from this "distraction", by doing other things. Like as I scroll though my photo albums, many memories are triggered. Almost immediately, I would hum a tune, eat an apple, or do just about anything to prevent the memory space to be cluttered with memories of the past, especially the bad ones.
I have been trying to make new friends, as many as I could, just so that they can fill in the gaps that might have been left behind as a result of my choosing not to go back to whatever's related to the bad memories. And I have come to realise that it isn't all that hard to make new friends; we are after all, college kids who share many common topics!
So when Sheryl was telling me about leaving behind the past and looking ahead, she essentially meant that. We cannot control our emotions all the time, especially affairs of the heart, otherwise we would be stone pillars across this vast land. But nevertheless, it does not mean we ought to allow our emotions to run wild. Because while it's good to have feelings, it's good to be emotional, it's normal to reminiscience, it's bad if you allow that to control your life.
It's 2 weeks before summer session was over, and just as I was telling my sister about my spectacular collapse last sem in the final 2 weeks, I have to make sure I perservere all the way, continue to free myself from distractions, maintain my energy level, and make sure no repeat of last sem happens again, now or beyond. I am very determined to ensure all goes well at the end of summer, because it will be a good build-up for fall sem. This summer could prive to be the water shed yet again in my life, and I am working to my fullest to ensuring I don't disappoint the people who care, and more importantly, myself.
Cheers to my new-found determination, and I hope, confidence in whatever I do. :)
Ok, so I have had enough with hybridization and thermodynamics, and I am freaking bored, so I just thought I wanted to share with you some of the people who matter to me ... whether family or friends. A pity I did not take enough pictures in JC, or for that matter, in Sec School. Anyway here we go...
With my parents beside my tank at the end of TCC. Where will I be without my parents, who have always stood by me all this while.
Without a doubt, my sister has been the most important person to me. Always there to lend a listening ear, offer advice, and staunch show of support when the going gets tough. I am thankful foreverything she has done for me.
Mrs. Lim is so important to me, for 2 reasons: 1) nurturing my love for economics 2) teaching me to be a better man. I couldn't have achieved thus far without her support and guidance.
My best buddies in the army: Keith, Jason and Zhi Da. And we have become more than buddies whose only link is the army. We have become soul mates to one another, especially with Keith. It's almost amazing how NS brings different people together and create such strong bonds of friendship.
RJ is a special friend in many ways; in JC, he was my personal tutor, together with Ben Loh. Outside of school, he becomes an elder brother to me. Recently, he has brought a calming influence to me. A very special talent to Singapore, and a very special friend.
Ichwan and I have known each other since Sec. 1, and together with Zhongyang, had been my best buddies in RIMB. It was so much fun prancing around in the band room, as well as poking fun at just about every other person who got in our way! Kai Lin, the ever lovable Band senior, who though appears blur at times, is in fact, a mature and encouraging senior and friend. If she had not appeared in my life as a senior, I would have fallen for her. Cos she is unbelievably adorable! I love you! :)
My ORIE brothers @ Cornell, Ian, Dan Tang and JQ. The times rushing assignments at 3am, resorting to "copy n paste" when all seems impossible, bragging about how we are gonna rule the corporate and IB world, about girls, about ... ... ...; there seems nothing that fazes us. ORIE rules, and cheers to our brudderhood. Special mention goes to Dan, who's practically my soul mate, as well as JQ, who is at times a pillar of strength. If Dan brightens my life with his antics, JQ brings a calming influence to me.
My ever dearest "sista" ( i have no idea why it was spelt sista rather than sister, I guess it just sounds more cool!), I shall always remember how Sheryl stayed up with me on 2 Fridays during Spring seml, lending a listening ear, and nothing more. And many times, a listening ear is all you need, especially in times of distress. Sheryl is a very special girl, and she will always have a special place in my heart.
January Babies (L to R) : jq, me, Cindy, Steph, Joanna. Cindy is another amazing friend; lunch/dinner/chill-out with her always last for an eternity, because there just seemed nothing that we cannot talk about; I am always thankful for Steph's expertise in dying my hair, and she did a really good job; I am so happy for Joanna, I really am. Whereas during fall semester, she was helpless at times and stressed out by all the workload, Spring and summer must have been a blissful moment in her life, because she has found true love, and a really good one too (GQ, nice job! ). Even though we tease each other incessantly, our friendship goes beyond the skin-deep interactions; she has shared so much of her life with me, and through those "crying" sessions outside her room @ HILC, I have learned many things from her.
Erm, of course she is ever so important to me. My livelihood and career depends on her! LoL! Kudos to her for bringing Temasek Holdings to the current international status it enjoys as a mult-dimensional investment company. I feel really proud to be able to serve at TH.
;
8:55 PM
***
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Amanda, you are awesome! After Aquarius by Miriam Yeung, this is yet another great song, from Vidal, an up-and-coming HK singer, who has a sweet voice. Enjoy :)
;
10:02 PM
***
Ok, taking a break from work, so i thought I ought to gather some pics from various events/happenings over the past year, just to remind myself of the fun times I had... enjoy :)
Here we go... from Penn Station @ NYC, headed for Philly ;)
We made it to Philly after an uneventful ride on the AMTrack :)
NYC was breathtaking from atop Empire State Building!
Pensive moment while overlooking the Washington Monument
NYC with Miss Tan. I did have a great time "living it up" with you Liyu :)
;
7:52 PM
***
I ought to really bring a watch the next time I meet my friends. No disrespect to them, nor that I didn't enjoy their company. On the contrary, I enjoy their company so much that I often overstay my visit/ lunch date. It was the case last night with Cindy. We had our very own dinner @ her place, and the dinner ended close to midnight. After a simple fare of stir fried pork, mapo tofu and potato salad, we chit-chatted over wine, and then cognac, for nearly 3 1/2 hours.
It was the case this morning over Brunch. Had brunch @ Banfis with her again, and it ended at around 2 pm! At this rate, I would run out of time sooner rather than later. But still, I loved every minute of the time spent with her. It's amazing how we could talk just about anything on planet earth, from chinese lineage, which extended to a lesson on Chinese History, to movies and Andy Lau and Wong Kar Wai. And as usual, a dash of typical college gossiping was included, and like I had mentioned about the inevitability, the bad memories of last semester came back again. But since I had promised myself I would not harp over it, I shall leave it as that. .Period.
All in all, I had a good time with Cindy, and I hope the insane workload next semester would continue to allow me to meet up with her. Cindy is an amazing friend, she really is.
In between brunch and an Econs experiment, I found time to visit my favorite haunt @ North Campus-- the gym. And as usual, after 3 sets of chin-ups, I had to pay my favorite a visit-- the rowing machine. And for the next 20 minutes, to the infectous beat of Fort Minor's Remember my Name, I rowed away, exerting every possible ounce of energy in me until I realised once again, I had only 5 minutes to drive down to Warren Hall for my experiment. I regretted I had never bothered to shape up in JC, because I was sure jopining Canoeing or rowing would have been a hell of experience. I loved the feeling as I rowed away, mouthing the lyrics and devoting every brain cell and muscle tissue to the rhythmic movements of rowing. At the end of the workout, with sweat glistening my forehead, I had never felt as refreshed as before. A routine worth following on a daily basis eh?
And then it was back to Rhodes Hall for my studying. But not before another 30 minutes trawling the net, surfing away at ebay and crunchyroll.com. And then I realised: if only I could concentrate on my studies the way I did when rowing! And I decided I would give it a go after this post. I hope it all works out, so wish me luck!
Signing off (rather abruptly, but wth, it's already 5 pm, time to get cracking!)
Henry O
;
4:49 PM
***
Saturday, July 21, 2007
hmm, time flies. My 6-week summer session is almost over, and so will the period of calm and equilibirum that living alone has brought me.
I used to dread living alone @ a big house that is away from where most of my Singaporean friends live, Valentine's place. I used to dread having to cook for myself, clean up after myself, pay bills, grocery shopping, and of course, entertaining myself, and driving away the ghosts of loneliness.
I am kinda glad I decided to live on my own over summer, in retrospect. Because I actually quite enjoyed having time for myself. The past 2 semesters @ Cornell has been work, work, work. And more often than not, leading a life that isn't mine. I had led a life that revolved around people, and even though many a times, I had good time allowing myself to twirl around people, it isn't my life after all. And not that I did not enjoy it, but many times, it left me tired and discouraged. It was time to end it all and lead a life I can call my own.
And lead my life I did, and I like it. On my own, I decide when I am hungry and need to eat; I decide when I needed a spin on my Baby Camry to de-stress and shill out; I decide when I want to hang out and have a couple of drinks with my closer friends.
But in reality, this has nothing to do with living on my own. The truth is, I had been living in my fantasy world. I had been hoping for things to go my way; I had been hoping for my destiny to change for the better; in short, I had been hoping. And the more I hope, the more disappointed I got. And reading the previous posts in my now-defunct blog, it seemed ridiculous this was the same Henry who had written those words. That he believes one's own destiny is in his own hands. And yet, all semester, I had been hoping for the best, hoping for someone to change, hoping for myself to change. And in the end, it remained as it was in the beginning-- a hope.
Perhaps that is because I am aquarian, so I can get pretty emotional, especially to affairs of the heart. And so, ever since I had been hurt, my heart has remained closed. Closed because I still refuse to give up, closed because I still cannot accept the way things have turned out, yet it is now closed because it shall forever be stored in some distant memory. And it shall never become active again. Maybe one day, this memory shall one day vanish with the passing of time.
I cannot remember who told me this; I think it was Keith, or maybe it was my sis and close friends have said: You are Aquarian, you are emotional, but so? You are an engineer, so you have to be practical. If things are not meant to be, you gotta move on. At that instance, I feel like the biggest fool in the world. That after all that has been done, all I can get in return is I am sorry/ It is just not meant to be.
In retrospect, however, keith might have been right. If the answer returned has remained at that, then perhaps it's time to move on. And yes, I am ready to move on.
But what does moving on mean to me? Moving on means I have closed that chapter, stored it in my permanent memory, and that miss shall forever remain my 遗憾. But will I ever forget this chapter and MOVE ON, which some people can rattle off so easily? 可惜我是水瓶座...I know my close friends probably 替我不值. But I cannot simply let go and pretend nothing has ever happened.
Anyway, like how I have promised myself, I am moving on from here. And hopefully I don't ever have to reminiscience about it again. In truth, I don't really think about it, especially now. Only thing is, the Cornell community is closed knit, and it is almost inevitable. Any slight contact/ mention and the memories flood back again. It is gonna be hard, there is almost a sense of inevitability in it, but I have to move on and get on with the life I had been leading this past 4 weeks.
To end on a happier note, I am meeting Xiya for dinner tonight. And no it isn't at some XYZ restaurant or crap takeaways. We are cooking for our dinner! Makes the dinner OUR VERY OWN! I hope she doesn't complain about my cooking, because I got to admit my cooking skills are pretty raw at the moment. I am excited about it, and I hope she enjoys my potato salad (which I have learned from Joanna, so she will take half the blame, BUT I am taking the full credit on this one!) and Japanese curry ;)
I saw it at Carousel, and I thought it looks comfortable to the eye, nothing fanciful, simple yet classy and beautiful . And it is comfortable to the feet too, which is, of course, the most important, isn't it? It's an elegant footwear!
It looked really nice on me, and goes well especially with my increasing collection of white tops! Unfortunately, since it's a new collection for 2007, the price is still pricey, and most of those available are olive green in color. I want this and only this in navy blue! It gives a rugged feel to you, but again, is simple yet classy. Another one that will certainly go well with me!
Well, I thought it was time to learn some golf, just so because I might need to play it in the future. Had made plans to take golfing lessons with Cindy, but alas! I am afraid our workloads can't allow us to squeeze time for some golfing goofing around! Nvr mind, there is always next time! 
I thought I need a suit just in case there are formals to attend or any important functions that may require it, although I doubt I will have the time to attend formals and what-have-you. Still, a dashing suit is always welcome! 
Although I am confortably zipping around Ithaca in my babt blue Camry, which in my opinion, is ultra-cool (altho Amanda said it was a girl's color. I DISAGREE with you, Amanda! ) But this has got to be the ultimate dream car for me, classy, elegant (BMW's always my fav brand, and white is my fav color too!), with its SUV qualities making it a practical and comfortable car to zip around with! It's gonna cost a bomb, and it's gonna talke years for me (especially since I will NEVER BREAK BOND, just so because I think every scholar must have a sense of responsibility towards the faith of those who saw gave us our due recognition), but that doesn't mean I am gonna stop dreaming, because the day you have ACHIEVED EVERYTHING in life, you are as good as dead. We should never stop dreaming...
January Babies (L to R) : jq, me, Cindy, Steph, Joanna. Cindy is another amazing friend; lunch/dinner/chill-out with her always last for an eternity, because there just seemed nothing that we cannot talk about; I am always thankful for Steph's expertise in dying my hair, and she did a really good job; I am so happy for Joanna, I really am. Whereas during fall semester, she was helpless at times and stressed out by all the workload, Spring and summer must have been a blissful moment in her life, because she has found true love, and a really good one too (GQ, nice job! ). Even though we tease each other incessantly, our friendship goes beyond the skin-deep interactions; she has shared so much of her life with me, and through those "crying" sessions outside her room @ HILC, I have learned many things from her. 
Here we go... from Penn Station @ NYC, headed for Philly ;)
We made it to Philly after an uneventful ride on the AMTrack :)
NYC was breathtaking from atop Empire State Building!
Pensive moment while overlooking the Washington Monument
