Wednesday, July 25, 2007
summer's been really busy for me in many ways, however how chill I have mentioned before, especially about leading my own life and having time and space for just myself and no one else; and it's mainly due to the workload.
this is for anyone ever considering doing summer school; the only incentive for doing summer school is you earn your credits in half the time, and you get to do it while taking in the beautiful landscape at Ithaca, accentuated by the blazing sun, a welcome change fr icy Ithaca that Cornell has been famous for.
HOWEVER, all that is gonna change if you decide to do a HENRY and take 3 classes dsuring summer. Otherwise, 2 classes are really manageable; and you can really find more than sufficient to explore Ithaca.
so there we go, I just had my 6th and 7th prelim in a space of 3 weeks, and you know what? 6 of the 7 had been 2 per day per week. sounds crazy? picture that, together with a cs project per week, and 2 chem pre-labs + lab reports due per week, not to mention assignments. Was msning Amanda, and it really struck me that it was almost miraculous I had survived thus far.
Yet even more surprising, I havent really bore the brunt of this insane workload at all; well apart from the 2 hrs before my first cs project was due, an hr before my first chem prelim, the night before my first cs prelim. Otherwise, I have really found time to take uber-long dinners, whip up sumptous (well, in my own opinion at least) meals for myself and for friends, do alot of shopping, online and off (haha lol!), watch many movies, especially the older ones, made a whole new bunch of friends (esp in chem 207), go on night and late evening hr-long jogs, gym and rowing sessions etc etc etc. Oh, and alot of driving.
In fact, I have neever felt calmer than before, at least over the past year, and I think it was probably what my dad was talking about the other day about blocking out the distractions. It's easy to be distracted; every single movement that triggers bad memories, however small that action might be, could affect your emotional well-being for up to an entire week and beyond.
And thus far, I hope I have been doing things right, however differing opinion others might have. How have I been doing things "right", in my opinion?
I have been trying to avoid at all costs to look back, however tempted I had been at times; Keith had told me, each time you choose to remember the bad memories, which as human we are all tempted to, immediately, almost instantaneously, distract yourself from this "distraction", by doing other things. Like as I scroll though my photo albums, many memories are triggered. Almost immediately, I would hum a tune, eat an apple, or do just about anything to prevent the memory space to be cluttered with memories of the past, especially the bad ones.
I have been trying to make new friends, as many as I could, just so that they can fill in the gaps that might have been left behind as a result of my choosing not to go back to whatever's related to the bad memories. And I have come to realise that it isn't all that hard to make new friends; we are after all, college kids who share many common topics!
So when Sheryl was telling me about leaving behind the past and looking ahead, she essentially meant that. We cannot control our emotions all the time, especially affairs of the heart, otherwise we would be stone pillars across this vast land. But nevertheless, it does not mean we ought to allow our emotions to run wild. Because while it's good to have feelings, it's good to be emotional, it's normal to reminiscience, it's bad if you allow that to control your life.
It's 2 weeks before summer session was over, and just as I was telling my sister about my spectacular collapse last sem in the final 2 weeks, I have to make sure I perservere all the way, continue to free myself from distractions, maintain my energy level, and make sure no repeat of last sem happens again, now or beyond. I am very determined to ensure all goes well at the end of summer, because it will be a good build-up for fall sem. This summer could prive to be the water shed yet again in my life, and I am working to my fullest to ensuring I don't disappoint the people who care, and more importantly, myself.
Cheers to my new-found determination, and I hope, confidence in whatever I do. :)
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