I like song below; it did not have the most heart-wrenching of lyrics, nor the most pleasant of melodies, but I like the song. I like it because it helped me see many things, and gave me inspiration.
[Verse 1] Loosely translating, it means if I were able to see, I would be able to differentiate right from wrong; and not lose you to the crowd. 2007 was a mixed year, plenty of ups and downs; good and bad. I have to hold my hands up and admit I had made mistakes, a couple of which were particularly devastating. There were times when I questioned myself whether I could still tell right from wrong; whether the values which were uncalcated to me from years of strict upbringing and first-class education were beginning to desert me. I wondered if I were still able to retain the faith my family and friends had shown me... I wondered if I were still the Henry Ong I myself had known for over 22 years.
2007 brought with it many setbacks, and sometimes they were so deflating I was engulfed in a vicious cycle of jealousy, self-blame, anger and ultimately, misery. Many a times, emotion got the better of me, causing me to lose sight of the bigger picture, of the goals I had set out to attain. I had lost touch with reality. Could I still tell right from wrong?
[verse 2] If I were able to see, I would take you round the world, and give you plenty of pleasant surprises.
A friend said I am a sociable and easygoing person, and make a good friend. I hope I am still the person he described me, because I certainly wasn't a good friend this past year. Perhaps the setbacks were affecting me, but I became easily rattled by the slightest of snide remarks from friends; there were couple of occasions I vented my frustrations on closer friends. When stress got the better of me, I no longer knew how to be nice.
Over summer, I made a very good friend. We hanged out just about everyday; she was just about the only person I wanted to hang out with then. We got so close that I felt something extra about the friendship. Perhaps sensing everything was happening too quickly, she sought to slow things down. Affected by my previous relationship failure, I saw it as an outright rejection. Angry, confused, disappinted, I withdrew almost immediately from her world. I had not thought much about the existence of this friendship. It was until the last weeks of the semester when I received her call that I realized how important this friendship is to me, and how I had almost single-handedly threw this frienship away.
While I haven't been the best friend to many, I have a friend who has stood by me during all my problems. Apart from helping me with studies, he was always on hand to offer a word of encouragement and advice when I was feeling down. We both aren't too good with words, but I am really grateful for having a friend like him. 2007 was a year of many poor decisions, but one of the best? Choosing to stay together with him and 2 other friends, as well as taking the same major. Thanks Mr. Ong.
[verse 3] If I were able to see, my life might have been totally different from today. I often contemplated how life would have been had I made different decisions to my life:
Would I have been happier had I chosen to remain in Singapore and read Law, still my first choice of study?
Would I have been happier studying in the UK rather than the States, since I identify better with the Bristish way of life? Might I have learned more had I accepted Berkeley's offer to study at sunshine California rather than at bitterly Cold Cornell? Should I continue to accept the TH scholarship and spurn possibly more lucrative offers to work at Citibank, Morgan Stanley.........?
In the end, I realise they all don't matter. Because I had chosen this path, and while it's still possible to deviate from it, money and time permitting, is is likely to generate greater problems. Importantly, I might not be happier after all. I remember someone in the movie American Pie 2 once said, "We always want to make the best of every situation." I had decided this path for myself, and so it's up to me to make it the best path for myself.
this song was sung by a blind singer, and I remembered he made a guest appearance at a Taiwanese variety show. The compere, Matilda Tao Zi commented many of us often lament the many problems troubling us, without realizing there are many more unfortunate people engulfed in greater plight than us. The singer was one such person who had to overcome blindness and other problems to successfully launch his singing career, yet he offered so mich encouragement to the contestants, while maintaining an optimistic outlook to life. Aptly, Tao Zi said while he couldn't phycially see, his songs reflected a greater ability to see through life than many of us.
I was stunned into silence by Tao Zi's words, because I was definitely one of them. Many times, I had allowed emotion to get the better of me; it led me into making many wrong decisions. I was rash, I was short-sighted, I was no better than a blind man!
Luckily in life, there is always a silver lining in every storm cloud. And I believe I have emerged from 2007 stronger, more sure of what I want to achieve in life, of my immediate and future goals, of how I want to lead my life. I hope I can be a better person in 2008.
